'My Movies' 

by Chris Legg

Storytellers & Artists: Chris Lasala

Year: (c) 2023 

Downloaders: After The fall Of The internet

A terrorist group known as "Downloaders" create a virus that make the U.S. Army's mainframe computers go haywire. The virus spreads rapidly to all other mainframes causing complete eradication of the internet. Five years later, the world is a very different place. An ex-soldier code-named 'Destroyer' wanders the ruined cities looking for a means of communication. Cannibalistic dwellers run wild, seeking archive RAM to complete their infrastructure. They worship a statue of the once great hacker known as "Elite," who, according to legend, wrote the virus. When Destroyer sees the cannibals using an ancient hard drive to power their terminals, he knows they are planning a new virus. An uploaded ROM batch virus that will spread, even without using the internet! It's high-octane explosive action as Destroyer set's out to steal the hard drive to protect the world from complete annihilation!

The George Washington Robot With Spaghetti

Uncle Luigi's Pizzeria is fallen on hard times. Louigi has massive debt. His pizza oven is on the fritz, and his nephew Dominick just quit. Not knowing how he will continue to run the place, he stumbles upon a Japanese website that sells high-tech robots. He searches through the listing and finds the Chef robot. Using his last $6,000, he purchases the robot. Flash forward to the robot warehouse. "Hey! We're all out of the chef robots. How are we going to fill this order?" "Just send him the George Washington robot with the chef's hat on him!" So Louigi gets the George Washington Robot, and hilarity ensues. Eventually, the George Washington Robot gets good at being the chef, and the Pizzeria becomes a huge success. But Luigi understands that the robot belongs in Washington, D.C., not him. So after a lot of ups and downs, laughs, and cries, the robot is sent on his way to Washington, D.C. The movie ends with Luigi opening up another robot crate that he ordered to replace George; we see none other than an Abraham Lincoln robot! At this point, the movie would end in a freeze-frame. Perfectly setting up the sequel, The Abraham Lincoln Robot in Hot Water!

A Frankenstein for Thanksgiving

Robert and Dilly Coleman were just out for another hike in the woods, or so they thought. When Dilly finds the entrance to a cave, these two are spelunking for trouble as they have just walked into Frankenstein's kitchen! The boys not only befriend the lonely monster, they invite him to Thanksgiving dinner! There's just one thing they forgot about, their parents! The boys try and hide their new friend, "Frank," with absolutely hilarious consequences. This is a heartwarming autumn tale of friendship that will be treasured by all members of your family.

Zortes Last Savage

After the destruction of the earth in World War 1985, a new race of man was born. Mutated from a single human cell merged with plant DNA, the race of Fernopian men was created. Living in Acropolis's tree village, the Fernopian men are preparing for Zortes,  a brutal competition to death. The last man standing wins the prize of the only female Fernopian. Gorth of the Great Stump has been preparing for Zortes his entire life. His father was defeated, as well as his brother, but he is determined to be this year's champion. If Gorth is to succeed, he must channel the force of the Great Stump within him and become a cold-blooded killing machine. Zortes has begun!

Slobs

Davey can't stop stuffing his face. No matter what he tries, he cannot control his outrageous appetite. The thing is, Davey is not fat; he barely weighs 120 lbs. When his friend Craig sees that the Uncle Harlus international hot dog eating competition is coming to their town, he gets an idea. A 120 lb idea! If Davey entered the contest, the competitors would not see him as a threat due to his small size making for a guaranteed win. But one hurdle they had yet to see in their plan was the Bonso Bonso brothers, two Hawaiian twins with a combined weight of 1000 lbs. Can Davey put down enough dogs to take out the brothers? If he can, he wins the 'Golden Hot Dog' and the hearts of attractive and adoring fans. Slobs is a patriotic salute to America's favorite food, hot dogs!

The Cast, The Queen, and The Submarine Sandwich

The traveling carnival troop, known as the bungle cheese bunch, is asked to perform their award-winning Broadway play, The Flight of the Ballooninators, for the queen of England. When the bunch's manager, Pants Mcgewin, has to find transportation for them, he gets "wishwashambled" into renting a 1968 double-decker bus. The horn-honking cardboard-covered breakdown bus is soon nicknamed The Submarine Sandwich by the troop. Join Meezle, Peep, Dusty, and the gang as they "Loopityiloop" their way around England. It is one side-splitting "gag-stacker" after another when this troop honks, "clooks," and "zongs" across the U.K. But will the queen be laughing?

Jingle Dog and the Dum Dum Patrol

You have heard of Jingledog, Chris Kringle's best friend and companion. But you have probably not heard of the group of misfit elves in his toyshop known as The Dum Dum Patrol. They steamed Santa's beard this year by botching up the last of his mechanical mushroom men. Santa has had enough and fires them. But what Santa does not know is the evil Count Ven Clowncon has a plan to ruin Christmas involving The Dum Dum Patrol. He tricks the stupidest Dum Dum, Whingo, into believing the sprocket for Santa's time-stopping click-clock tock is a New Year's party hat. Whingo takes the sprocket while clearing out his desk, leaving Santa unable to stop time and prevent Count Ven Clowncon from ruining Christmas unless Jingledog recovers the sprocket in time, with help from The Dum Dum Patrol. It's a snowball-fueled race to the finish, with the fate of Christmas in the paws ofJingledog and the hands of The Dum Dum Patrol!

Breaking Tomatoes

Judy and Pat have been living together since college. They are the best of friends. But when Judy gets a boyfriend, Pat is for the first time on her own. Seeing each other only at their Sunday gardening party, the weeds are starting to sprout. They grow farther apart as Judy makes plans for her wedding. Pat must take an inward journey to self-understanding, beauty, and womanhood. They soon both will learn that sometimes in life, you have to break a few tomatoes.

Popped Corn

What happens when a rag-tag bunch of rowdies inherits a popcorn stand? You have a recipe for sexy laughs. When Nerdson’s aging uncle gives him a popcorn stand at the beach, “the party squad” sees it as an opportunity for some hot buttery fun! Join Nerdson, Tom, Jamal, and Konk for the summer of their lives. When Tom makes a bet with the gang for Nerdson to “pop his corn” by the end of summer, the race is on. Things heat up when the new girl in town, “Jenny,” decides to take them up on the bet, and then some! Popping the lid off with the sounds of today’s superstars, REO Speedwagon, Toto, and The Gypsy Moths! Popped corn is the "can’t miss" hit of the summer.

BLUE JEAN CAMPUS

Sam Pines was the biggest stud in high school. After graduation, he planned to take a year off and travel around Europe, satisfying his more than overactive sexual appetite. Still, his strict father has other plans for him. Unbeknownst to Sam, his father took the liberty of applying him to the most square school on the planet, Stale University. Now Sam must find a way to turn this uptight university into the ultimate party school! Teamed up with his fat roommate, “The Pork,” they set out to throw the biggest party any college has ever seen. But they must watch out because stuffy Dean Halmond is on their tail. So lose the slacks and tap the kegs; the blue jean campus is a sure “fit” for this uptight student body.

Dominick Winkler - Son of the Fonz!

We are all familiar with Henry Winkler, better known as The Fonz. Now it is time to meet his son Dominick. This award-winning documentary explores the life of the "Son of Cool." Dominick was 13 years old at the height of Happy Day's popularity and was constantly picked on at school, taunted daily with references from the mega-hit show, like, "Hey Dom, the Malachi brothers are outside waiting for you!" He describes how his best friend Jeremy was called "Cunningham" by the students. Dominick recalls how his classmates threw a stuffed shark at his feet in gym class, causing him to jump. The bullies followed with taunts of, "Look, Winkler just jumped the shark!" Dive into Dominick's life and learn how he went from an emotionally damaged teenager to the owner of the largest Big' N Tall clothing store chain in the country.

The Last Rope of Methuselah

The year is 3023, and the earth is a very different place. Cytrogs rule the wastelands, battle guards have lost all control, and anarchy reigns. Methuselah is the ruler of sector 9 and leader of the gang, the Knifers. A conflict is born when a young boy named Pit is caught stealing and brought to Methuselah for trial. Methuselah and lifelong friend Medik disagree on how to punish young Pit. Medik wants to release him to the Cytrogs, while Methuselah shows pity for the boy. Medik, full of rage and jealousy, convinces the Knifers to turn on Methuselah and cast him out into the wastelands. Methuselah must now fight for his life through the scorched desert world. His only hope is to find and retrieve the great artifact known only as “the gun.” With the artifact in hand, he can return to sector 9 to carry out his destiny, vengeance. This nonstop sci-fi action thriller will take you from zero to light speed and then back again, two times!

The Pollyknock Wizards

Tim Stein spent all of his time in the video game arcade. He could be found there day in and day out playing his favorite game Wizondria. As Tim gets sucked deeper into the world of Wizondria, his life takes a dangerous turn for the worse. After three days of straight playing, he finally goes home to sleep. But when Tim awakes from a nightmare, he finds himself in the game's final dungeon, Pollyknock. To navigate his way out of Pollynock, Tim must become the hero of swords and sorcery, facing cloaks and candles, thrones and bones, and conquering them all. But one thought is on Tim's mind. If he can get to the end of the dungeon, does he have the strength to battle the ones who hold the final gate key?

Junky Medicine

Ron Jacobs has it all figured out. He gets straight A's, is captain of the football team, and is dating the homecoming queen. But Ron has one embarrassing problem. Whatever he is about to do, he finds himself finished before he has even started, and people are getting suspicious. Not knowing how to correct this, Ron asks his less-than-coherent friend Dolan for advice. Dolan tells Ron, "You only need a little "junky medicine, man!" To get this odd remedy, Ron must see a man considered the "village idiot," known only as "Chief Qwisthix." But the Chief needs Ron's help with key ingredients to make a batch of the medicine, so Ron must spend one unforgettable day with the town's biggest lunatic. Take a ride with Ron and the Chief on their wacky adventure that will take them halfway across Nebraska. The Chief knows some colorful characters, to say the least. But what Ron and the Chief will soon discover is they have a bond that runs deeper than a little "junky medicine."

All-American Steak

Friends Neal and Patrick are heading to Europe as exchange students. They have been planning this for three years and are now ready to begin studying a "broad." But amid their excitement, they accidentally get on the wrong plane. This plane is not going to Europe; it is going to Egypt! Join the fellas as they party across Egypt, trying to "make it" with every girl from one side of the sphinx to the other. But when Neal "introduces" himself to Leena, the beautiful daughter of a Cairo mafia leader; it's time to pole vault the pyramid. The chase is on, and it's an all-out laugh riot with some couscous on the side. They are heading for the border and not looking back. On the run, they realize there is no substitute for the taste of an all-American steak!

Fancy Dummies

Meet Jon Duggins and Multash Toledis; they live together, work together, and are one in their loserness. But when they win the Kentucky super bucks' $7,000,000 lottery prize, the world will see how fancy two dummies can be. From buying the world's largest pumpkin farm to renting a jet ski for their swimming pool, these two weirdos have the whole world in their hands. But when they decide to spend their money on a campaign to become "presidents of Earth," the real stupidity starts. Wild Circus clowns, "Eskimo-flavored" cupcakes, and Bob, amongst others, lead this crazy campaign trail to laughter. Will the dummies be elected as presidents of Earth, or will their suspenders fall down during the debate? We'll just have to wait and see!

Shreddin' Agro Flip Radness & Bike Tricks On Blades

Join us for some radical hot skateboard tricks and insane wheelie madness. Take a ride into the pro skateboard circuit and the BMX and Rollerskating scenes. Watch the outrageous stunts, from death slides to cone weaving to bodacious jumps, as these pros will give you a backstage pass into their world. Awesome speed shots blended with the sounds of the hottest rock groups on the planet!

Hold The Toppings

Thomas and Diane met in the most unlikely of places, the Three Indians pizza restaurant. Thomas, a go-go executive, wasn't even looking for a relationship. Diane, an intelligent librarian, was content with her life in her apartment with her cat companions. Luck brings them together when a simultaneous urge for "zza" has them bumping into each other. Soon after, Thomas and Diane fall deeply and madly in love, despite their differences. But when Diane begins to suspect Thomas of having an affair with his new secretary, the innocent pizza that was their relationship is now smothered in unwanted toppings. Jealousy replaces pepperoni; heartache replaces sausage, all within a crust covered with grated hopelessness. Thomas and Diane accept that even the best things should be kept simple. In other words…Hold the Toppings.

Death Tact 7

On a world parallel to the Mesa Universe, Gavarian soldiers are preparing for war. Across the sea, ‘Trin’ lives a quiet life on his water farm. When the Gavarians destroy Trin’s farm and leave him for dead, the program is started. With that smash to the head, Trin’s internal Kryon chip has been activated and has reverted to its default setting, Death Tact 7. The Death Tact 7 program is simple, kill, crush, and eradicate all. The excitement of Star Wars meets the brutality of Rambo in this sci-fi, action-packed space adventure.

The Romeebix Prophecy

In 1946 the US military received countless reports of UFO activity in the New Mexico outback. Sergeant Dane Forthsyte was the commanding officer on duty when a UFO crashed outside Hot Pines, New Mexico. Upon arriving at the crash site and gaining entry to the craft, Sergeant Forthsyte makes a shocking discovery. One of the intergalactic voyagers is still alive! They quickly bring the being to the underground base Concord 7 and begin the interrogation. The being nicknamed 'Tom' telepathically projects an image into Dane's mind of thousands of human corpses covering the earth with a single word carved into their chest. Romeebix. After this image is shown to Dane, the being dies, leaving Dane to uncover the meaning of Romeebix. Dane must now travel the globe to every reported UFO crash site looking for the answer. But the secret government agency, Blackstar, will do everything possible to ensure Dane fails.

Popsicle Cop

On a high-speed foot chase through an ice factory Officer Benson slips on a piece of ice thrown by the fleeing crook. Benson is knocked out “cold” with no help in sight. When Officer Benson wakes up, he is not in the ice factory anymore; he is in a cornfield. Officer Benson is now 500 years in the future! The only way he will be able to get back is to find the last descendant of the crook who foiled him. Join Officer Benson on a hilarious ride into the 21st century. Full of more than enough laughs and goofs to have even the most frigid viewers cheering!

Clown m.d.

After a tightrope accident, circus clown Klinkle leaves the big top to return to college. Armed with a squirting flower and a backpack of balloons, this bozo is picking up where he left off, med school. But when his clown-hating professor tells him there is no way he will ever graduate, the wheels of hilarity are set in motion. Wild parties, all-night beer runs, and a crazy scavenger hunt called the Greek potato. Klinkle has his hands full, but will he be able to make the grades? If not, the professor will have him hanging up by his size 16 red shoes for good! Out of the big top and into the classroom, Clown M.D. will have you cheering for more; just remember to bring the seltzer.

The Call of the Dragon

FBI agent Tyson Ramirez is thrown into the dangerous underworld of mass murder. Ramirez has spent the last 4 years pursuing a cult known only as The Oak. The Oak is responsible for more than 100 murders and mysterious suicides. Ramirez must go undercover if he is to learn the secret of The Oak. Taking a blood oath with the cult, The Oak sends Ramirez on his first mission to kill a random person. Knowing he cannot carry this task out, Ramirez takes The Oak’s leader “Satanas” prisoner. After this, Tyson Ramirez will discover that “Satanas” is no mortal man but something more sinister.

Watch this video to see the fictionalized origin of 'My Movies.' It's funny and somber at the same time, like Legg was from time to time.